my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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