Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
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I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
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You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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