there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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