We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
