Dual....:-)
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Who wears a wallet chain?!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
