If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
