i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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