stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
