onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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