I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
