Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Small penises have feelings too.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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