Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
