On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
