I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
