How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
