super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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