took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
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Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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