i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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