Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
