How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
