and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
