I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
