Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
