After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
