I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
