I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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