What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
