$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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