So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I love you. Go after that dick
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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