he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
