on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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