i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
