Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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