no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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