I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
you never un-have a 4some
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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