OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
