dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
