This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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