I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
