the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize