I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
