Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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