you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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