I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
