I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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