3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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