He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
