I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
