how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just gargled with NyQuil
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
