Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
