i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
