Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Randomize
