please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
