I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize