Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
