what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
