sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
