So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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