Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
