dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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