sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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