im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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