we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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