Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
