I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
a search helicopter?!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
