you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
