Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
