I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
