Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize