DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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