you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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