tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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