I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
