I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
