oh god the rape fog is back!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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