Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
