How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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