Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
