You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
